seriously a blog for me could very well be a terrible thing...haha...because things that are interesting to me may not be interesting to anyone else...but o'well..thats why you get to pick and choose what you want to read..and if you read any of this at all!..so i suppose that gives me even more room to simply babble...so recently i have been feeling soo very reluctant in regards to leaving Seattle and my family and my friends...so i just got back from mexico the beginning of june, was home for ONE week, left for 2 weeks to Hawaii with the fam, and then I have been home for about 3.5 weeks now, and I leave in 3.5 weeks for ireland...reluctance..such an interesting concept is it not?..i know I am suppose to be going to Ireland and I am at complete peace about it...but really??...I love SEattle and I just wish it wasnt going to be such a bittersweet goodbye...I am excited for another adventure and another experience and opportunity which involves truly challenging my spiritual self and drawing closer to the Lord...and I feel I am being pushed there..because truly I do not think i would be able to leave seattle for ireland if it was purely selfish and that gives me strength to push forward even though leaving this place is going to be extremely difficult...i just think..cant i have like 2 more months?..or maybe even 3?..and then leave for ireland..why do i have to leave soo soon after i get back? and i sound like a whiny child who is kicking and screaming...wanting to walk through the door..but on her own time...when shes ready...and I just feel the Lord pushing me..coaxing me...saying my child..its time..the time is now, not 3 months from now...this is all I ask of you..I ask you to trust me...to listen to me, to rely on me...and those feelings of reluctance leave me...and I relax, calm down and give Him my hands..and I say okay lets do this...but i want to do it together...