soo...another post...this one is however a little blurb from my journal...really similiar from my email i sent out..if not the same stuff...--------------------------------so I just wanted to send you guys some thoughts from my personal journal...its just stuff about school and the amazing things we are talking about..and the things I have discovered about myself...for those of you who have grown up in Bremerton...think about the racial differences there..and your interactions with people of different ethnicities and races...I think bout central Kitsap high school..and i think of whites and Asians. And then i think about bremerton..and i think black...why is it soo separated??...think about your past..and your own race and ethnicity...i don’t even really know what i am..i know im a quarter Puerto rican..but what does that mean to me..what type of culture and heritage do i have?? And do i practice it...do i stay true to it...or am i denying a part of myself?? does America have a culture...do whites have a culture..or a heritage...and if so..what is it.. so my thoughts...am i a racist?? am i for affirmative action...these are some thoughts i have had...and my own views of myself..and other races has changed drastically since being here...(this isnt from my journal/.just some things i have now thought about)...id say im an aversive racist...acknowledging that things should be equal..but that things don’t really need to be changed..the system is just fine...the way things are set up with whites at the top is just fine....(this email is going to be soo all over the place..)..soo.. journal...yesterday in class..i might have sent you all some of this already..so in section our ta Heidi had us do an exercise ..and she asked us questions like..step forward if you answer yes to any of these questions..is it hard for you to find food from your culture..hair products for your hair...makeup or Band-Aids that match your skin color..have you been discriminated against or been the victim or racism..have you been alienated or isolated because of your race..i stood against the wall while my peers continued to step forward..what an eye opening experience..and then the rest of the class we proceeded to share our experiences..before i begin a few days before Hong, Manuel and i had attempted to go for a run up to the monument and we hit on some major hot topics..one being religion and race..and i just said if i applied for a job and if i didnt get it..i would never think it was because of my race and i would think i simply was not qualified and the fact that race would even be an issue for them makes my heart break..why is the system set up that way..so then Hong was soo very passionate about the subject and i just said that the fact that i never have to think about my race being an issue is a part of my white privilege..the fact that no one ever questions me is also a part of that privilege..i have never felt isolated or judged because of my race..so in class hong shared a few stories bout her own experiences and the experiences of her friends and she said that when she is with her asian friends she completely feels the discrimination and people make comments..but if she is with her white friends then shes never hassled..and that one of her black friends said that everyday she lives in fear..she is scared to walk down the ave because of the comments people might make..hong also talked about her friends in HS and how she didnt want to bring them home because her house was different and her mom might make smelly food..and that she didnt want to be seen as different..she was denying them a part of herself and loosing a piece of herself in the process..and then christian, african american, shared his experience and said he avoids certain situations because he doesnt want to cause trouble..so at the store he will go out of his way to stay away from white people and how he fears the police and that they may target him for something instead of protecting him they do the apposite and instill fear in him..while hong was sharing an experience from her african american friend..she said they were on a roadtrip and they stopped in a hick town and her fried was terrified to get out because she didnt see any other black people or anything..and i just couldn’t believe it..we were all an emotional mess and serena..the other african american had tears streaming down her face....and i was crying soo hard..and it was soo freeing...its no that i feel guilty at all..its just that i feel a part of me is being reawakened and my eyes are opening and its liberating and soo very strange to think that my eyes have been closed to all of this for soo long..i never felt i was really sheltered or naive..i never felt i held racist views or thoughts...but after that class and all of our discussions...i just realized that i missed out on soo much stuff having to do with race and race relations...i left seattle not a racist..but i still felt that we lived in a just world ..and people would attempt to treat others fairly..little did i know that modern racism was still soo very prevalent and worse i think than obvious racism..people can be soo very rude...nati, a mexian, shared a story about how she always has to comb her hair and change of her sweats before going to the grocery store because she doesnt want anyone to question her presentation of herself..i can truly NOT imagine that...i would never even think to do that..just unbelieveable.. soo much more i could write...but im running out of time...this has been an amazing experience..wish you were all here to learn soo much about yourself and others......recognize those privileges that a white American has..take advantage of them....and recognize the racism and the others that the system keeps down because of their race......