SO FIRST THINGS FIRST....

this photo was taken on saturday at Giants Causeway...as the legend goes...im sitting on the giants boot...but when i see this photo i truly see how the rock just fits me just right...and it cradles me in a sense. When i look at this photo...i am comforted becuase i truly feel as though the Lord is cradling me right now...and im able to lean back and rest on His boot...or in His hands

and after this week thats exactly what i NEED to be doing...we had such a crazy week this past week...and when people ask how im getting on in Belfast...i dont quite know where to start...do i tell them everything??...or just the good bitS?...well id be lying to them if i didnt tell them that im sick...and soo tired...right??..but is that what they really want to hear! Well of course i tell them all of it..haha..even if they only want to hear the good bits!

So this past week....we had 3 days FULL of students...and student lunches...so tuesday, wednesday, thursday ...peter wanted us here at the office by 8:30..so thats not THAT early right??...i mean you get in your car...by about 8:15..up at maybe 7:30..and at work on time...WRONG...what do you do when you dont have a car??...well you take the bus or the train...right now i prefer the bus...so im up at 6:30...on the bus by 7:20 or so..and to work with a few minutes to spare....so the mornings were spent passing out flyers to the students throughout campus advertising for free student lunches....

okay so student lunches....UMM??..we dont do anything like this in America..but we should...maybe ill think about starting it up when i come back home...its amazing...we set up the halls with chairs, tables...etc...half of the food is donated from local restaurants...we have some AMAZING older ladies that have been helping out with student lunches since they started 10 years ago...its at the church...and hundreds and hundreds of students come through for food...soup, sandwiches, coffee/tea, fruit, biscuits...its AMAZING....did i say that already?...i mean its a brilliant idea....maybe a bit expensive..but soo worth it...so i met loads of students over those few days..and was able to chat with some of the international students i had met weeks before....and it was a huge success...peter first major task went sooo smoothly...and i know its something i will look forward to EVERY thursday...

anyhow...chatting with the students just makes me REALLY miss school...learning..studying...challenging conversations...i just might have to get my masters here next year....in ethnic conflict!..rad huh??...its tempting..it really is....but we will see...i miss my family and my friends and everything familiar soooo terribly much my heart aches sometimes...

now this job is challenging..but in a different sort of way...and i have just come to realize that i LOVE being challenged intellectually...and i dont think working for a church is the right place for me...forever....for now its right...i feel its right....but i have a very difficult time asking for help...or admiting that im worn down and i take way too much on till i just cant do it anymore...and i love the community and the spiritual connection but the dreadful thing is happening...and church is now turning into work...and i dont want that..

but i also realized that with ministry work....someone says jump you jump..someone says run..you run...and you do it all with a glad heart..with a servants heart...and the thing is...thats not the type of Christian i am. I am RELUCTANT...i come kicking and screaming at times..and when someone gives me a task to do ..sometimes i think really?...why did you do that?..why did you give me something to do..i just wanted to read my bible..i just wanted to have some down time..haha!...and i think all these things...and i say...okay thanks..thanks for giving me a job..thanks!..ill get it done soon...THANKS! and go on my way...

also this past week i just felt terribly sick...and i had a terrible cold..and was functioning on sooo very little sleep, but i had to go to work...couldnt let the other interns down...couldnt show up late to work becuase they too werent feeling soo hot....and it wouldnt be fair if i didnt come in, now would it?? so on friday i kind of had an eyeopening experience and just realized that even when im sick...and hating my job because i cant BELIEVE i have to go into work when i feel like this...i just realized....malia...suck it up...no one else needs to know how terrible you feel...you are here to get people excited about church...you are suppose to be radiating Christs love..and you arent doing that when you are down and irritated and frustrated....haha!! Soo...i had a change of heart..and just realized that when i need time...i need to take that time...when i am tired..i need to sleep...when im sick...be sick...come into work if you must...but stay home and get better if you can...i think i just get frustrated because there is sooo mcuh going on at the church that staying home on certain days isnt an option becuase we are counted on...and i cant just not come into work on some days...so thats me...

So this past week as well...i was reminded that i am a volunteer..thats what i signed up for...and i gave this year back to the Lord..for him to USE me how he wants to use me...not how i would LIKE to be used, or how i expected to be used, but how HE wants to use me! I am here to be HIS servant for a year, and only his servant...so thats me..I am tired, but I am feeling refreshed and rejuvenated...

well its another Sunday in paradise...in runny paradise huh??...and im excited to start another day and another week...but there have been soo many times when i wished I had friends...friends OUTSIDE of the church...and i am soo thankful for Laura and peter..but i want more...cant you all just come over together to visit??...i mean honestly what are you waiting for??.....i just feel soo very alone at times...and i want to do something FUn...like go out and have a drink..but we are all soo tired..and we all live soo far away...that we would have to take taxis back home and stuff..and how fun is that??..

soo..this saturday i went away with the international students to Giants Causeway, dunluce Castle and Portstewart....strange to think that the international students are mainly AMERICANS...i mean my job is basically to hang out with people from my own country...strange right??...i mean dont get me wrong there are loads of other int'l students from Italy, Spain, Russia, Germany, France..all over...anyhow...there were about 200 students that went...but it was my saturday..a day i normally have off right?...still enjoyable...but i was reluctant to go..haha...story of my life...

so this morning...i had my first sunday school class...i am working with the 8-11 year olds..and i love them...but they are a bit tough i must say...we did a name game ice breaker..and it was a huge success...i am soooo excited to develop relationships with these children..esp the girls...and with the people in the congregation...soo excited to be involved directly with the people in the congregation here...just feel as though all the things we do take us away from investing in our own congregation...we do soo much community stuff and not enough work within the church i think...so this is sooo very perfect for me!!

life is one big adventure .....